Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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