No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i love accidental penises.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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