Cold hands, warm shart.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
