You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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