Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
