yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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