I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
