I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
