This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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