your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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