I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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