Plan B is the new Plan A
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
