Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
