check it out our google latitudes are spooning
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am naked and annoyed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
