it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
