I hate all girls vehemently.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
