I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I deserve to be covered in dicks
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
