Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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