My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
