You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
