Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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