Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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