yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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