We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
