Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
