I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
