STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
