just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize