conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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