ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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