If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
