Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He has the fingertips of a God
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