hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Did I show you my penis last night?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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