A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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