i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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