do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
