sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
