I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
