Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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