He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
