So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
