You can't motorboat a personality
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
