you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
