a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
