I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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