It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
