i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
