is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sorry about my life...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
