Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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