he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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