Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize