I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
