I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There's always time for handjobs
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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