i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
