This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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