i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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