I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just blew my weed a kiss
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
