You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
