Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
